I know that we often feel that the accumulation of hurdles and one-way streets that we have taken ourselves through means that we have to put up with the situation that we’re in. How often have we wanted to cut and run but haven’t felt brave enough to?
In particular, we long to be where others are. It is our perception that others do not have the problems we do; do not face the bugbears and the twinges of conscience we face. That they don’t wake up in the middle of the night with regrets; seeing the faces of loved ones in agony, and feeling that it was their fault.
Yes, there are days when everything seems okay, and when we are coping okay. But as someone said to me the other day, quite in passing; we don’t really know how we cope at all. Best not to think about it really. Cos if we start to think about it too much, then we would scrabble and fall – just like learning to ride a bike, or spin a hoop, or play intuitive football. The moment you think too hard, the moment you become conscious of the movements your body is making, the mind falters, and you put a foot wrong, and you’re down.
I suppose it comes down to whether you think you’re a turkey or an eagle. You what? Well, apparently, eagles don’t flap their wings at all. They just lock their wings into position, catch the thermal, and soar up, up and up. Yup, an eagle loves a storm – it takes them highest of all. But look at a turkey – when it tries to fly, it ‘beats itself into insensibility’, flapping across the farmyard. And when everyone else is soaring majestically, and there you are, flapping away madly and having nothing to show for it, you think that your scope IS confined to the farmyard, that you weren’t meant for the clear blue yonder, for the toppling heights that take your breath away and make you pinch yourself to check you’re not dreaming. Does God really care about me?
Truth it, we were all meant to be eagles. We were all supposed to be swans, after all. And we can start again any time we want. The moment we cry out, we genuinely cry out, to God, he will hear us, gently bend down his ear towards us, and set the wheels in motion. He will show us that he is real, that he cares, that he doesn’t give a stuff about the stupid commitments or gaffs we have made. His one desire is to see us doing what we were made to do.
You have an inborn ability to sense the air currents. You know not to act until the right breeze comes along. Then you just let go, and you’re borne aloft by the wind. While other birds are afraid of the storm, you love it and are forced higher and higher, showing that it is not by might or by power, but by the Spirit of God. You discern the purpose of God and you just go with it, not trying to get him to bless your mess, but rather starting afresh each time. It doesn’t matter how catastrophic the last wave was, each wave is a new chance, a new moment, a new opportunity to ride in the Spirit and to show His glory and where He’ll take you. What’s best of all, you know that he will lead you for good, and that he knows exactly what you need. Just what the doctor ordered.