Every so often, you get that feeling that everything is too much. “I can’t cope”, you cry, and grab your dummy, your blanket and curl up at the bottom of your world, ignoring everything and hoping that it will go away.
I felt like this earlier this week. No idea either what brought it on. Just the relentless onslaught in my mind of things that I need to do: also of the available spaces to do it, and the way that the list does not fit nicely into the slots. Then other things pile in, and make it more. But this doesn’t carry on forever. And the nudge from the Holy Spirit says: This is most important, make sure this happens.
How does the pressure on our diaries affect our spirits? Brother Lawrence practised the presence of God amidst the pots and pans. Often it’s only when I get to lunchtime, at work, that suddenly I think “Hallo Lord, I haven’t spoken to you all morning”. I read in a prayer meeting the other day: “Deep calls to deep, and all your waves and billows have gone over me.” (Ps 42). Then in 1 Corinthians: “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.”
Refreshing comes from the deep. It comes from an unexpected place. The treadmill of mundane events makes us into a product or a machine, but the upthrust of the current from below knocks us awry and gives us space to contemplate Him. At the centre of all peace, of all equilibrium, of all vision and of all adoration is the Lamb who was slain before the foundation of the world. In heaven they cry now before Him: “Holy, holy, holy”. There’s only one word to describe; only one word comes to mind (Jesus Culture). There is no one like You, Jesus. You were crowned in glory and the angels revered and loved and honoured you, and yet you shrugged off your majesty and stooped into this darkened, teeming, selfish and evil world. You experienced the full brunt of the envy, hatred, rejection, pain and rebellion, and you said “It is finished”.
Be born in me today, Jesus! I woke up this morning and knew that Father had done a work in me as I slept. I felt tranquillity and stillness in my spirit. It wasn’t just because it was a Friday, but because it is Your day, Lord. I’m looking for Your Spirit to search in me the deep things of God today; in my circumstances and relationships, to search the deep things of God. There is nothing sordid, nothing sorrowful, nothing that saps life in God, there is only life, abundant life, overpouring life and overarching life. It all begins and ends in You God. My head is in a spin, but only at Your majesty. My heart is thumping, but only because You love me so outrageously, so passionately and so faithfully.