Losing your Mojo

This may be a spur of the moment, but the pleasure of WordPress, and the desire to engage and explore, has brought me to the keyboard and the screen.

For a short period I was blogging regularly, and I revamped my blog a little while ago to regain a focus on living in revival.  Oddly, the opposite perhaps has happened since I have been on here.

I have been going through one of those seasons in your life where you are just, yep, living.   Just about.  Not quite sure if you’re coming or going, trying to do a dozen things, doing none of them very well – everywhere you turn, someone is firing at you either broadsides, or taking a pot-shot.

There are days, aren’t there, where for some reason you manage to escape anyone firing at you, and you think: Hah, got away with that one!  Then the next day, you realise that they were saving them all up, and they get fired at you all at once.

Please don’t think I’m getting at anyone here.  If anything, I’m getting at myself.  I remember, when I started out in teaching, that I put a topical slogan ‘I choose to lose today’ by my desk, and my then head of department said: That’s a bit negative!  It was a reference to Galatians 2:20 and dying in Christ.  It’s fine declaiming ‘I was lost without the Saviour’ but the truth is: I am still lost without the Saviour.

Let’s get this straight.  Meeting Jesus so early in my life ruined me for anything other than knowing Him. Whatever my lofty ambitions were in my teens and my twenties, everything has shrunk now and, while grateful for what I have, the opportunities close down like that Larkin poem (see ‘To My Wife’ page above). I now look at the years I have lived so far, and I think: what have I done with them?  Where is the fruit?  And I am not in despair, because I trust in the awesome salvation that Jesus has worked, all with me in mind.  But there is a large gap between where I wanted to be for Him, and where I have been shown to be in prophetic words, and where I am.

A key was mentioned in passing in our church a month or so back.  Someone said; It’s the regular washing of the Word that you need.  The days I wash in the Word are the days I get my priorities straight.  They’re the days I remember to do the tasks that will matter left undone.  The days where I’m about to get attacked, but I flourish the piece of completed work and say: All done.  It’s not so important to be up early and working to get that piece of marking or planning finished.  It’s much more important to see the face of the Saviour before I see the face of men (or women – to quote Robert Murray McCheyne).

So I’ve come back to the blog, and I do not think that blogging is a cure-all.  It’s not even like a New Year’s Resolution – just the echo of a desire to change, quickly abandoned.  But rather like journalling (which I have managed to do, thankfully, this week at least), it helps me to set my mind straight and to seek God’s kingdom before I seek my own.  Then I won’t THINK about seeking my own kingdom!

What do we all have to look forward to as believers?  The opportunity in the present moment to touch Him, to align, and to change the world.  He will take care of the ungraspable future, the impossible future, that He has promised.  But the little present is where we all need to start.  Help me God!

 

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About stayingfaithful

I am looking for anything that relates to life and to a fuller life. I am bored by the normal and the natural and interested in the supernatural. There must be more than this. We were put on this earth for more than a nine to five prison, as someone said a few years ago.
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4 Responses to Losing your Mojo

  1. Dan Clark says:

    I find myself in a very similar position ben! I long for personal revival at this time but it doesn’t seem to be flowing in that direction. So I am in a process of taking a step back and reflecting on were I am and waiting and listening patently on the lord. Hebrews 12, The race of faith requires perseverance at times and in this process we learn more of Gods character. Some things he chooses to reveal to us only when he has us right where he needs us to be. That’s often on our knees crying out help me God!

    • benleney says:

      Thanks Dan, indeed I think you’re right that God is nearest to us when we’re desperate and when we’re crying out. We’re so reluctant to be that needy, but that’s where He needs us to be. Hebrews 12 is a good reference, and there is a great cloud of witnesses approving us as we keep going.

  2. Jules says:

    I blog as accountability. It is evidence that I spent time with God that day. That’s between me and Him I know but He and I agreed that this would help keep me ‘honest. I think, (hope?) that now I would read/pray/wait even without the pending blogtime but for now, that’s still our deal. It has helped me a lot 🙂

    Daily washing with the Word, daily time with my Lord has changed my life.

    • benleney says:

      Thanks for this – it is perhaps what I was reaching towards; it is so good to hear how the daily devotion has changed you and inspiring to me! Yes, how honest am I about my time with Him. I forget Him so easily….

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